Single malt whisky is made from a single type of malted grain, traditionally barley. They have a startling purity - the snow melts on the mountains, filters through rocks for decades, babbles out of a spring then tumbles down a hillside onto land flat enough to grow barley. There's hundreds of years of nature's good work in a single malt whisky, so probably best not to mix it with Red Bull. Blends, however, use a combination of malt and grain whisky, the latter of which is made from wheat or maize, the scruffy young scallywags of the grain family. Consequently blends tend to have a lighter and less complex flavour.

Single malt whiskies are made at a single distillery and distilled in what's known as a pot still in batches. Grain whiskies are distilled continuously in a column still, which gives a higher alcohol yield and thus a harsher flavour.

Why do blended whiskies exist? Because single malt whisky is a complex, refined, characterful drink that some less complex, refined, characterful people can't quite stomach. Blends, historically, were introduced to tone down the glorious extremeties of whisky and take it to the masses. A bit like what Starbucks has done to coffee.

Single malt distilleries employ master distillers - some of whom must be approaching 200 years old - whose knowledge of whisky has been passed down through generations in a strange and mystical language known as 'Scottish'. It's their expertise and love that enables the distilleries to produce whiskies of startling quality. Blends, meanwhile, are more typically mass-produced.

In reality, there's something of an art to blending whisky, and some of the best examples - Hankey Banister or Islay Mist for example - are right up there with some of the top single malts. Even Johnnie Walker Blue Label is a pretty impressive tipple.

Whisky is the most elegant and decadent of all tipples and your choice of clothes should reflect that. Don't be uptight - lose the tie, or if you're wearing a bow tie, leave it hanging round your neck in true Rat Pack style. A pair of classy cufflinks will add to the occasion, and a pair of handmade leather shoes are a must. So, unbutton your shirt - a white shirt is best as nothing should cloud the purity of the experience (note too that whisky should only be drunk from a crystal glass) - loosen your belt and enjoy the God of all drams.